Saturday, September 11, 2010

How many times do I have to dump you?

I'm not a fan of breaking up with people, I'm sure most people aren't. I think it's equally hard on both parties, regardless of whether you're the dumper or the dumpee. Different hards, but equal all the same.

That said, I find it fascinating when some people just. don't. get. the hint. Take this guy I met, we'll call him *Steve. I was quite literally on my way out of a pub when he grabbed my arm and said hi. On face value I thought oh yeah he's cute, so when he asked for my number I gave it to him. I told him I had to go, at which point he felt it was appropriate to kiss me. Being slightly intoxicated and thus having a slower reaction time to things, it took me a couple of moments to process the fact that this guy had quite literally talked to me for all of 60 seconds before a) getting my number and b) exchanging saliva with me. Call me crazy but I usually like to have noticed other things about a person, such as what colour their shirt is, before I decide if I want to kiss someone.

Next day, big hangover, and a message from Steve saying it was great to meet me and did I wanna catch up for a drink? No worries. It was at this point I learned that Steve was a bit more senior than I had first guessed. 13 years my senior to be precise. But, not letting that get in the way of getting to know him, overall it was a good night. He asked me if I had plans for Friday night, and seeing as it was only Sunday at the time, I said no not at this stage. We agreed we might catch up then but would talk closer to the time.

Wednesday afternoon, he texted saying he wanted to catch up and did I want to come over the following night? I thought he just didn't want to wait til Friday so I said yes. Halfway through Thursday dinner, Steve mentioned something about what 'we' would do on Friday night, at which point the following conversation ensued:
Me: 'oh, I presumed we caught up tonight instead of tomorrow night, so I think I might be heading out with my friends.'
Steve (confused look on face) - 'but you said on Sunday that you were free on Friday??'
Me - 'um, yeah I was at the time, but I thought if we caught up tonight, then I would see my friends tomorrow night.'
Steve - 'So now you're standing me up to hang out with your friends instead?'
Me - 'I'm not standing you up when we never had plans in the first place!'

And also, I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR 4 DAYS. Even if I thought this guy could be the love of my life, 3 dates in the 1st week would be pretty intense. So we ended the night with me saying I'd let him know what I got up to over the weekend, when I was actually thinking yeah, you're a bit weird and I'm not sure I ever want to see you again.

It all went pear-shaped when I said I was sorry but wasn't interested in dating anyone. Steve's angry reply was that I'm clearly too immature to pursue a friendship and that I should at least give something a chance to develop down the track. I politely responded that I thought it would be too hard to have a friendship when I knew he wanted more than that. Obviously that's not what he wanted to hear either. Needless to say, it was pretty frustrating to receive text after abusive text, when all I was trying to do was save the guy from wasting his time.

Fast forward to 3 MONTHS later, and who should message me? The guy can't take no for an answer.
'Must be getting close to your trip, looking forward to it?' I chose not to reply.
2 days later - 'What are you up to for your last couple of nights in Perth?' Again, no reply from me.
The day AFTER THAT - 'Hey, hope you have an awesome time overseas. Let me know if you wanna catch up when you get back.'

WTF?! How does someone in their right mind think it's a good idea to text someone after 3 months of no contact, not to mention the way things went the last time they spoke?
As I've mentioned before, I'm all for being upfront and open instead of playing the game, but you have to keep something in the bank for later! Chicks didn't even make the rules and yet we're the only ones following them if you ask me. I only really have one rule...
DON'T commit me to a fully-fledged relationship (in your head) when I don't even know your surname.
Isn't this a given?? Apparently not when it comes to some head cases. Or maybe it was the age gap factor and he felt his biological clock ticking and will pounce on anything that could potentially turn into a relationship. Honestly, the older they are, the harder they are to shake off.

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